On a lighter note . . . (maybe)

I really do love this city, this state, this country.

For the first week of being back, I could not stop saying, "God bless America!!" "I love America!!"

I really missed American pop music, so what is one of the first things I did?

Oh yeah - listened to Justin Bieber pretty much nonstop for the first 48 hours. haters gonna hate.

Do you know what else I absolutely love? Frozen yogurt. ohmygoshIloveitsomuch. I think I got frozen yogurt at least 4 times that week.

I missed my friends, my family, my life here. I mean - you would've thought that I was gone for a year or something, and it was only a week.

I just don't want to take everything for granted.

the God bless America mani!!

I also missed crazyamazinghuge salads. I promptly went to Whole Foods (AKA Whole Paycheck) shortly after getting back :) I love you, tofu!

Oh and you know what else is really good? Fluffy biscuits. From Flying Biscuit Cafe. mmmmmmm . . . 

I'm telling you . . . this country is crazy awesome and I really appreciate it more than ever right now.

I also decided that I want to be lady liberty for Halloween this year.

I mean, if anyone wanted to make me a dress out of an American flag, I sure wouldn't turn you down!!

Before the trip, I was asking God to give me clear direction and wisdom . . . whether He wanted me to move somewhere (whether it be another city, state or country), or do something different with my life. I didn't sense any clear direction - I only saw opportunities magnified in front of me here. Then, I feel like this trip was confirmation that I am not cut out to be a long-term missionary. I would definitely go on another short-term trip, but my passion - at least right now - is more for things over here. I pray that God would continue to lead me and make it blatantly obvious if He wants me to change. All I can do is continue to look to Him and make Him the priority of my life.

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
-Hebrews 12:1-2 

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
-Psalm 32:8

Worlds Apart . . . part 6

Almost each day in Nicaragua, I had a few thoughts . . .

• I want to go home
• I want to come back next year, and bring some of the girls from my small group
• I want to learn spanish
• I am really looking forward to using a regular bathroom

The feeling of missing home only lasted a few minutes, as we were so busy and constantly in fellowship.

At the mission house, there was a wonderful housekeeper and cook who took excellent care of us. The coffee was ah-mazing. (I wish they had it like that here) She also cooked us breakfast every morning, and dinner almost every night. I love plantains, did I tell you that yet? Oh, and the pineapple and watermelon are so much better than what you get in the states.

We loaded up on our glamorous shuttle bus as per usual with our BFF Ben, and rode out to the church in Managua. Wednesday morning was spent doing various projects on the church. Alexis, Janna, Hillary and I were in charge of painting the ceiling of an office.

I love American pop music. I really do, and I can't hide that. I was ready for some music that day . . . after all, this was day 6! I made Hillary play Justin Bieber on her phone while we worked . . . and to my dismay, we also suffered jammed out to "Gag Call me Maybe."

I don't know much about painting, but somehow we made it work. Janna saved her mane by wearing a plastic bag, and it was hilarious glamorous.

making a fashion statement

Well, it was time for me to face yet another fear of mine - singing in front of people (OK, OK, I'm not always shy about this, I just get nervous when I rap). I'm not sure what triggered this, but I started rapping Nicki Minaj for these girls. Last summer I made it a personal goal to memorize "Super Bass" - so boom I can check that off of my bucket list! Just call me the next white rapper.

Now, I'm not kidding when I say I get nervous rapping this in front of just 2 or 3 other people. No matter how many times I've rapped this song, (a lot in the last year) I still get a little adrenaline rush. I am such a nerd. This is ruining my street cred. Man.

Here's the fundamental problem . . . Nervousness = rapid heart beat = short of breath/hyperventilating = messing up my flow.

Anyway, little did I know that Janna would request force me to sing the song multiple times for the duration of our trip.

I did not see the attack coming . . . until it was too late

After the projects . . . and bathing my arm in mineral spirits (which smelled so fragrant - in a not-so-wonderful way), we had a fabulous lunch that Ben's wife prepared for us. That was the first time I tried yucca, which is also very delicious.

Then it was VBS time for the kids that come to the afterschool program at the church. We were getting pretty good at the whole rotation thing :) And I think I can fold paper boats blindfolded with both arms tied behind my back . . . waaaaaaiiit.

I think this day was one of the days we got back to the mission house the earliest. Typically at night we would come back for dinner, then had devotion as a group and hung out until we were tired. The sun rises at 5:30 in Nicaragua, and I usually got up around 6:00 each morning, plus I'm old so I didn't stay up too late :)

I almost forgot . . . in the afternoons, we chanted "helado" in the bus and Ben was sweet enough to drive us to the store so that we could get our ice cream fix almost every day.

But for realz . . . I did miss life back in NC. I didn't think about it very much, which was another answer to prayer - but even after a few days I started to miss it here. I even started to miss my job, which is just plain insanity. I think it's a good sign, though.

nothing stays the same

If I had my way, things would never change. I hate change.

I think that's normal though. I really, honestly felt that earlier this year, things were perfect . . . and then things started to change around me - mostly friends moving away and relationships changing.

Things have been evolving since then . . . and even more so in the months surrounding the Nicaragua trip. I think I'm realizing that earlier this year, I was so comfortable and things seemed so calm . . . maybe that's why I felt that things were perfect.

But unless God uproots me from time to time, how can I ever grow? Unless He calls me out of my comfort zone and places new challenges in my life, how can I change?

I always pray that God will stretch me, grow me, and bring me closer to Him . . . but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

When things started shifting, I tried desperately to hold onto them. Maybe if I tried hard enough, clung onto things, I could keep it all together. It's easy for me to be in denial about things changing . . .

(like baby, baby, ohhh, like baby, baby, noooooooo, I don't want to change!!)

During seasons like this, what I want to do is hold onto people and circumstances. But God calls me to something greater - to hold onto Him, the only sure foundation and solid rock. Life is going to constantly change, so I might as well accept that, right? Nothing ever stays the same . . . so why try to hold onto the temporary and fleeting things?

Change is a good thing, even though it is very painful. Through change, God draws us closer to Himself, grows us, and teaches us (oh yeah, that whole "trusting God" thing).

On another note, I am changing the way I see my finances. For the first time (maybe ever), I'm going to take it seriously . . . so chickpeas are about to become my main food group, yeeeah! I always thought I needed to spend a ton of money in order to buy healthy food so that I could, well, be healthy and look good in my jeans. But there are a few good resources out there - it's like a social experiment, this whole "budgeting" thing. Here are a few blogs that are helpful if you want to eat healthy and cheap too :)
http://www.cheaprecipeblog.com/
http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/

“It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn’t call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace.”

-Francis Chan

27

A little more light-hearted post in the midst of all of this processing . . .

I turned 27 on Sunday, so I decided to make a list of 27 things that make me (and hopefully you too) smile :)

In no particular order:

1. Skype dates with a dear friend on the opposite coast

2. Justin Bieber's new album . . . I mean all of his music

3. Frozen Yogurt . . . as often as possible.

4. Hearing your mom's voice on the other end of the line after lengthy travel

5. Sisters who wear dresses just for you

6. Bright colors and sweet notes

7. Surprises

8. Frequent laughter

9. DIY gradient nails

10. Zebra candles

and for stealing pictures from facebook :) photo credit: Hillary

11. New friends

I spy with my little eye . . . Justin Bieber's face is in there somewhere, no lie

12. Sweet handmade artwork from a sweet friend

they were having a moment . . . photo credit: Laura

13. A horse that almost made out with my friend during ServeRDU

14. Amazing friends who 1) know how to have fun, and 2) speak truth and encouragement into my life

15. The lines on your carpet from just vaccuuming

16. Silly youtube videos/spoofs




17 - 27 . . . ummmmm I have too many years on me because I can't complete this list :) you fill in the rest - what are you thankful for?