open hands

From Him and through Him and for Him are all things . . .

- Romans 11:36

Ohhh, it has been too long.

But I am back :)

For now, at least.

Anyway . . . a friend of mine recently talked about living with open hands. Living in a way where you are fully yielded to God, not withholding anything from Him. Your hands are not clenched tightly around any area of your life, because nothing is off limits for God. He can take and give freely.

If I fully believe that God created me, has drawn me to Himself and is the one who sustains, guides and fulfills me . . . then how can anything be off limits for Him?

Scripture says that all things were created by God and for God. 

That causes me to ask . . . what am I living for?

Am I living for the one who created me and saved me? Am I fully available to Him? Am I finding my fulfillment and purpose in Him? 

It frees me from living for my own agenda or timeline. It changes my perspective.

My small group is going through a study called "Experiencing God." I read something this morning that goes along with living this way:

God will start to make Himself known to you simply as He would to a child. As you respond to Him in childlike trust, a whole new way of looking at life will begin to unfold for you. Your life will be fulfilling. You will never sense an emptiness or a lack of purpose in your life. God always fills your life with Himself. 

never alone

Then all the disciples left him and fled.
Matthew 26: 56

for the joy that was set before him endured the cross . . .
Hebrews 12:2 

I don't know if it was the awesome #SheReadsTruth devotional I read this morning . . . JD's sermon from the weekend on Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, or Tim Keller sermons about the events leading up to Jesus' death . . . but it all just hit me tonight.

When I feel alone . . . when I am lonely because of my circumstances, God gently reminds me that I am not truly alone.

Jesus faced ultimate rejection, ultimate separation from His Father . . . and even His best friends and disciples abandoned Him in His hour of need.

Jesus was more alone and forsaken than I will ever know . . . all so that I would never have to be.

Even if friends reject me, people betray me . . . even if I remain single for this lifetime, I am not alone.

God gives us such a beautiful promise . . . that He will never leave or forsake us if we are His (Hebrews 13:5). That is more precious than anything this world can give us or death can take away.

I feel like my words are not eloquent in this area, so bear with me ;) but it is in God's Word that we find restoration for our souls, so I would encourage you to dwell there.

When Jesus started to cry out, he didn't say, "My friends, my friends!" "My head, my head!" "My hands, my hands!" He said, "My God, my God." On the cross, Jesus was forsaken by God. He said, "My God." That's the language of intimacy. To call anyone "my Susan" or "my John" is affectionate. And biblically, "my God" is covenantal address. It was the way God said someone could address him if he or she had a personal relationship with him. "You shall be my people, and I shall be your God." 

"My God, you have forsaken me." . . . this forsakenness, this loss, was between the Father and the Son, who had loved each other from all eternity. This love was infinitely long, absolutely perfect, and Jesus was losing it. 

Jesus, the maker of the world, was being unmade. Why? Jesus was experiencing our judgement day. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" It wasn't a rhetorical question. And the answer is: For you, for me, for us. Jesus was forsaken by God so that we would never have to be. The judgement that should have fallen on us fell instead on Jesus. 

At the moment Jesus Christ died, this massive curtain (in the temple, separating the holy of holies) was ripped open. The tear was from top to bottom, just to make clear who did it. This was God's way of saying, "This is the sacrifice that ends all sacrifices, the way is now open to approach me." Now that Jesus has died, anybody who believes in him can see God, connect to God. The barrier is gone for good.  

If you see Jesus losing the infinite love of his Father out of his infinite love for you, it will melt your hardness. No matter who you are, it will open your eyes and shatter your darkness. You will at long last be able to turn away from all those other things that are dominating your life, addicting you, drawing you away from God.  

- Tim Keller

spring workout mix

Nothing gets me more excited for the gym than a good workout mix :)

I finally got some new music and threw something together that got me pumped to work it at the gym today . . . hope you enjoy!

1. "Beating Heart" - Ellie Goulding

2. "I Want It All" - Karmin

3. "Love Runs Out" - OneRepublic

4. "Magic" - Coldplay

5. "Turn Down For What" - DJ Snake & Lil Jon

6. "Work Work" - Britney

7. "What Now" - Rihanna

8. "Take Me Home" - Cash Cash

9. "I'm Still Hot" - Luciana

(I gotta just say . . . this song is so silly. I heard it during a sync cycle class and had to have it. Apparently there is a remix featuring Betty White. Just sayin.)

10. "Heartbeat" - Enrique

11. "Fall In Love" - Phantogram

12. "Pumpin Blood" - NONONO

grace

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1

Can I be honest?

My heart and my mind struggle to grasp this truth.

Why? Because every day, I am faced with my own depravity . . . I see how I fall short, I see my sinfulness and struggles.

I start to think . . . once I clean my act up, once I quit struggling with this sin pattern, then I will be OK before God. 

That totally defeats the purpose of grace, doesn't it? If we had the ability to get ourselves right before God on our own, then Jesus died for nothing.

Scripture tells us over and over again that Jesus lived a perfect life in our place and took all of God's wrath that we deserved, so that we would not only be declared forgiven but righteous, justified . . . perfect in the sight of God. Like they say at my church, the gospel is Jesus in my place.

Jesus was completely and utterly forsaken so that we would never have to be.

Or as Tim Keller says, “The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

As I was reading the above scripture this morning, I felt like that guy in the gospels who says to Jesus, "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24, emphasis mine)

I feel that the struggle to completely and fully unpack and understand grace is one that I will continue to face on this side of heaven.

Elyse Fitzpatrick has a wonderful devotional called Comforts From Romans that unpacks Romans 8:1 beautifully.

She writes,

Jesus Christ is our propitiation. What propitiation means is to make an atoning sacrifice for another. Jesus is our wrath bearer. In his person he received the entire weight of all God's wrath for all our sin. In three hours he received all the wrath we would have known had we spent an eternity in hell. All of God's wrath for all of our sin - not just the sin that we committed before we came to Christ, not just the sin that we have committed since our conversion, or not even just the sins we've committed today. He received God's wrath for the sins we will commit tomorrow and through all of our tomorrows until we finally die. He paid for all our sin. We will never be recipients of God's wrath and condemnation because he's already borne it all.

If Jesus bore all of God's wrath for all of your sin,
how much wrath does God have left for you? 

The answer is none. Go ahead and believe that. Say it out loud: "God has no wrath left for me!" Believe it. Jesus Christ has fully, irrevocably, unequivocally, and freely granted you freedom from all the wrath you deserve.

Throughout our lifetime, we will face struggles and will wrestle with sin - even though we are in Christ. But this does not mean that our salvation or our standing before God is in question. His word never comes back empty, and He promises that there is no condemnation for us.

I don't know about you, but I need this reminder every single day. I need to return over and over to the truth of the gospel. To the truth of God's word. Every. single. day.

photo recap of Charleston

There is just something wonderful about sleeping in your own bed after being out of town for a weekend, right? I forget how hard it can be to sleep in a bed that isn't your own. I also forgot how I never get good sleep before race day (or, how I never really sleep at all).

The weather on Friday and Saturday was probably the best we've had, in the five years that the Bridge Run weekend has been in existence.

It was wonderful.

I never know what I love more . . . all of the food and fun restaurants, or the race itself.

At one point during the weekend, someone said, "If you had kids, you wouldn't take so many pictures of your food."

truth.

at Five Loaves

two half-salads . . . one with eggplant fritters, the other with caramelized pearl onions and polenta croutons . . . and sweet basil/honey dressing WHAT :)

making friends at the race expo

we look pretty good for being up since before 5am, right?

after the race

no trip is complete without getting dessert at Kaminsky's

when my faith feels small

Yesterday morning I had one of those moments where my faith felt small, weak, feeble.

I always remember a quote from Tim Keller - it's not the strength of your faith that saves you, but the object of your faith. 

All that I could focus on was my own shortcomings, my sin, my struggles.

It's in those moments that God draws us back to His promises and we can find assurance in the only rock, the only firm foundation.

I read this devotional by John Piper, titled, "He Will Keep Us Safe."

This passage/excerpt stuck out to me:

The Lord will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:8–9)

Does the perseverance of our faith rest on the reliability of our own resolve? Or does it rest on the work of God to “keep us trusting”?
It is a great and wonderful truth of Scripture that God is faithful, and will keep forever those whom he has called. Our confidence that we are eternally secure is a confidence that God will “keep us trusting”!

I was reminded once again that it's not my doing, not in my ability to trust . . . or anything within me that keeps me within His hand.

God is not distant or impersonal . . . He is near and relational, which is a great comfort.

He promises to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5), He promises that no one can snatch us out of His hand (John 10:28-29), what He began in us, He will bring to completion (Philippians 1:6) and that He is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).  

We can rest, knowing that the One who holds the universe together is holding us. Though we stray, feel weak, or have fickle emotions, He is the same throughout time. He is faithful, even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13). 

He is the one who sustains us, guides us, and leads us. Scripture also says we are to, "draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8). Will we do that today, and know more of the security we have in Him?

Cooper River Bridge Run

. . . getting so creative with my titles here, right?

Next weekend will be my 5th Cooper River Bridge Run.

Have I trained? . . . Well, I've only gone running once within the last 4 weeks.

It's OK, I'm just gonna wing it ;)

If you are a walker, runner or run/walker, you should definitely go if you haven't already. It's a 10K in beautiful Charleston, and I always make a weekend out of it with some girlfriends.

The first year we went (2010), I made a 12-week "plan" and trained pretty intensely, even going running after working a 12-hour shift. I battled with some shin splints as well.

The second year (2011), one of my friends ended up getting a stress fracture because she trained too intensely, too quickly.

The largest group we've gone with was 15 or 16, and the smallest group was last year, with 7 of us.

A lot of runners used to dress up for the event, and in 2011 there was an official costume contest . . . that was the year that I dressed up as Lady GaGa and my friend Christen was Beyonce. We didn't win anything but it was. so. much. fun.

In 2012, the trip was right before my friend Carly was leaving to move to the west coast. That year we dressed up too. She was a parrot and I was a pirate. (It was a reference to an episode of How I Met Your Mother . . . plus I used to be in love with pirates)

2013 was the first year I dressed "normal" for the race. I hardly saw anyone at the race in costume, which made me a little sad inside.

I am getting hyped for this year, and I hope everyone else is too :)

. . . like a boss

2010

2011 . . . pre-race shenanigans

we run this town

Hi . . . mom? We found Waldo.

. . . and Beaker

most of the crew in 2011

2012

dancing . . . warming up before the race

2013

one of my favorites