November 29, 2010

It's dangerous business walking out your front door

I was talking with some friends recently, who inspired me.

The idea of becoming more bold, and trying things that you were previously gun-shy of.

I realize that my immediate response to something that scares me, intimidates me or presents difficulty is "I hate it/that's stupid/I refuse to do that/I can't do that."

Anything that might make me vulnerable, I shut it down on instinct.

For example . . . I think I'll look silly doing yoga, I'm unfamiliar with it, I think it's not beneficial (without knowing much about it) so that automatically makes it stupid and on the list of things that I will not do.

Well, 1 month later and I'm glad that I tried something new. And who knew that you could get a stronger core and work on your strength training while doing yoga? I'm hooked now.

I can also be very hesitant about taking on new challenges or responsibility at work (or anywhere for that matter) because it's intimidating. But once I do it, I come away having learned something new, expanding my borders, gaining confidence along the way.

I should try more things that scare me more often. There is so much to learn from trying something that you may have shut down before. It's so easy to have preconceived notions or expectations, fears that will all come falling down once you face whatever that thing is.

This process teaches so much about life, about yourself, humbles you and changes you for the better. It's still scary, but I just pray for the courage . . . courage in the face of my fears, however silly they seem.

I don't want to live in a world that is shut in, rigidly enclosed by my walls of self-defense and insecurity.

I'm just thankful that being in your 20's is still relatively young . . . sometimes I look around and wonder how I got here. But I woke up this morning, thankful that each day is a new day . . . maybe it's not too late after all. Kind of like Scrooge when he wakes up at the end of A Christmas Carol, and he hasn't missed Christmas, or a second chance at embracing life.

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