On a lighter note . . . (maybe)

I really do love this city, this state, this country.

For the first week of being back, I could not stop saying, "God bless America!!" "I love America!!"

I really missed American pop music, so what is one of the first things I did?

Oh yeah - listened to Justin Bieber pretty much nonstop for the first 48 hours. haters gonna hate.

Do you know what else I absolutely love? Frozen yogurt. ohmygoshIloveitsomuch. I think I got frozen yogurt at least 4 times that week.

I missed my friends, my family, my life here. I mean - you would've thought that I was gone for a year or something, and it was only a week.

I just don't want to take everything for granted.

the God bless America mani!!

I also missed crazyamazinghuge salads. I promptly went to Whole Foods (AKA Whole Paycheck) shortly after getting back :) I love you, tofu!

Oh and you know what else is really good? Fluffy biscuits. From Flying Biscuit Cafe. mmmmmmm . . . 

I'm telling you . . . this country is crazy awesome and I really appreciate it more than ever right now.

I also decided that I want to be lady liberty for Halloween this year.

I mean, if anyone wanted to make me a dress out of an American flag, I sure wouldn't turn you down!!

Before the trip, I was asking God to give me clear direction and wisdom . . . whether He wanted me to move somewhere (whether it be another city, state or country), or do something different with my life. I didn't sense any clear direction - I only saw opportunities magnified in front of me here. Then, I feel like this trip was confirmation that I am not cut out to be a long-term missionary. I would definitely go on another short-term trip, but my passion - at least right now - is more for things over here. I pray that God would continue to lead me and make it blatantly obvious if He wants me to change. All I can do is continue to look to Him and make Him the priority of my life.

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
-Hebrews 12:1-2 

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
-Psalm 32:8

Worlds Apart . . . part 7

On day 7, we took at 2 hour bus ride out to Leon for our last day doing VBS.

Side note: Christine amazed me with her ability to fall asleep anywhere, and I'm a little jealous :)

During the trip, we got to hear Jeremy (founder of One by One) talk about his passion and vision for Nicaragua. It was so refreshing to see how his face lit up as he talked about the future and the next generation of Nicaragua. I could tell that he was here for the right reasons and that he has such a heart for the country.

I think it's so cool how God gives us different talents, spiritual gifts, abilities, etc. and places us in different circumstances in order to glorify Him. It's my frequent prayer that God would work through me - and that He would direct me to be exactly where He desires. I want to be in His will, and sometimes (or a lot of the time) I worry about it way too much instead of trusting in His divine guidance and orchestration.

We arrived to Leon, got settled and ate lunch. The church was built by a Methodist congregation from the states, and now One by One uses it as one of their locations. It was beautiful.

 Jeremy told us that the kids would start to arrive after 1:00, and that we could play soccer with them while we waited for everyone. Right in front of the church was a huge dirt field. Hillary suggested playing, and I thought - why not? I've already been out of my comfort zone so much on this trip, might as well continue. Plus, I don't think these kids will care that I have absolutely no skill when it comes to sports.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew there was a reason I don't play sports . . . but all I could remember was I don't like things flying at me . . . and I don't like sweaty people touching me. Sweaty people flying at me - yeah. That must be the reason.

We started to play and I was very quickly reminded why I don't play sports. Oh yes, I'm afraid of the ball. How did I forget that? hmm.

So, where is the most logical place for a person who is afraid of 1) projectile objects, 2) sweaty people, and 3) the ball?

oh yeah. goalie, baby.

Thank God the other gringos were merciful enough to switch out with me when there was a penalty kick. I was proud of myself because I actually intentionally kicked the ball. Twice. Boom.

Then there was a true miraculous moment when, while standing between the goalposts, contemplating the meaning of life, someone kicked the ball towards me . . . and instead of going for it, my leg just happened to be conveniently in the way. So, the ball hit my leg with such force that it ricocheted off and went rolling flying away.

The dirt that was embedded in the ball left a lovely outline of the soccer ball on my lower leg, and suddenly I felt a little more legit. By this point there were enough people with real skill on the field, so I graciously left . . . and then the kids saw my leg and asked if I was OK, haha :)

trying really hard to look busy

A little bit after this, Alecia, who is actually a very good soccer player (and pretty hard core), burned/scraped up her leg pretty badly in the Nicaraguan dirt. So, what did we do? Perform surgery of course.

I think we need to amputate, doctor.

Just kidding. It wasn't surgery. But we did need to get the dirt out of her leg . . . thankfully Hillary had a stash of wipes in her bag. A few of us did our best to clean up/scrub the dirt out of her leg, then bandaged it up a bit. The little kids poking at it later definitely made it feel better. Note to self: next time on a mission trip, bring medical supplies. Thankfully, there were a few first aid kits on the trip.

There were somewhere between 90-100 kids that were supposed to be at this VBS, but it seemed like more and more little ones kept filtering in as the afternoon progressed. At one point, Talia had 38 kids in her group. phew. Talk about a lot of paper boats. We had like a fleet going. (is that what you call an army of boats? It sounds good, right?)

Alecia is also the one who taught our team the "peer pressure song." Do you know this song? It's pretty catchy:
Do it,
Do it,
Everyone will like you!
(repeat x 1000)

So needless to say, I rapped Super Bass on the bus for everyone on the team, plus Ben, Jeremy and Paul. Paul told me I had too much free time because I could name 3 celebrity chefs in less than 5 seconds and memorized a Nicki Minaj song. Way to pump up my self esteem.

It's all Janna's fault. She kept requesting the song. I gotta give the people what they want!

But seriously, the peer pressure song was used on almost everyone on the team - to eat a stack of crackers in 30 seconds, cluck like a chicken, bark like a dog, etc. etc. . .

Then miraculously, on the bus ride back, Ben turned the radio on. Do you know what glorious song filled the air? "Sexy and I know it". Awww yeeeah. Then the real me started to come out. Music does things to me. I just got so excited and almost busted out my super fly dance moves - but I don't think everyone was quite ready for that yet. So I danced in my seat like the stereotypical white girl. Don't stop, get it, get it!

Do you know how happy I was to hear American music on that bus? Praise Jesus.

So, this trip was filled with facing fears . . . working with kids, attempting to speak spanish, rapping in front of that many people, projectile objects coming towards me, random food, being in a foreign environment, etc. etc . . . this trip definitely stretched me in many ways and I was so thankful.

Just for fun . . . yes I did, yes I did, somebody please tell 'em who the -- I is :)

Worlds Apart . . . part 6

Almost each day in Nicaragua, I had a few thoughts . . .

• I want to go home
• I want to come back next year, and bring some of the girls from my small group
• I want to learn spanish
• I am really looking forward to using a regular bathroom

The feeling of missing home only lasted a few minutes, as we were so busy and constantly in fellowship.

At the mission house, there was a wonderful housekeeper and cook who took excellent care of us. The coffee was ah-mazing. (I wish they had it like that here) She also cooked us breakfast every morning, and dinner almost every night. I love plantains, did I tell you that yet? Oh, and the pineapple and watermelon are so much better than what you get in the states.

We loaded up on our glamorous shuttle bus as per usual with our BFF Ben, and rode out to the church in Managua. Wednesday morning was spent doing various projects on the church. Alexis, Janna, Hillary and I were in charge of painting the ceiling of an office.

I love American pop music. I really do, and I can't hide that. I was ready for some music that day . . . after all, this was day 6! I made Hillary play Justin Bieber on her phone while we worked . . . and to my dismay, we also suffered jammed out to "Gag Call me Maybe."

I don't know much about painting, but somehow we made it work. Janna saved her mane by wearing a plastic bag, and it was hilarious glamorous.

making a fashion statement

Well, it was time for me to face yet another fear of mine - singing in front of people (OK, OK, I'm not always shy about this, I just get nervous when I rap). I'm not sure what triggered this, but I started rapping Nicki Minaj for these girls. Last summer I made it a personal goal to memorize "Super Bass" - so boom I can check that off of my bucket list! Just call me the next white rapper.

Now, I'm not kidding when I say I get nervous rapping this in front of just 2 or 3 other people. No matter how many times I've rapped this song, (a lot in the last year) I still get a little adrenaline rush. I am such a nerd. This is ruining my street cred. Man.

Here's the fundamental problem . . . Nervousness = rapid heart beat = short of breath/hyperventilating = messing up my flow.

Anyway, little did I know that Janna would request force me to sing the song multiple times for the duration of our trip.

I did not see the attack coming . . . until it was too late

After the projects . . . and bathing my arm in mineral spirits (which smelled so fragrant - in a not-so-wonderful way), we had a fabulous lunch that Ben's wife prepared for us. That was the first time I tried yucca, which is also very delicious.

Then it was VBS time for the kids that come to the afterschool program at the church. We were getting pretty good at the whole rotation thing :) And I think I can fold paper boats blindfolded with both arms tied behind my back . . . waaaaaaiiit.

I think this day was one of the days we got back to the mission house the earliest. Typically at night we would come back for dinner, then had devotion as a group and hung out until we were tired. The sun rises at 5:30 in Nicaragua, and I usually got up around 6:00 each morning, plus I'm old so I didn't stay up too late :)

I almost forgot . . . in the afternoons, we chanted "helado" in the bus and Ben was sweet enough to drive us to the store so that we could get our ice cream fix almost every day.

But for realz . . . I did miss life back in NC. I didn't think about it very much, which was another answer to prayer - but even after a few days I started to miss it here. I even started to miss my job, which is just plain insanity. I think it's a good sign, though.

It's monday . . .

. . . and I can't stop writing. This might be a problem. I'm just gonna roll with it though, because I keep on feeling compelled to write.

Right now our small group is going through a Beth Moore study, To Live is Christ. I am delightfully behind, and trying to catch up on the reading, but I'm just not sure if I'm going to be on track by tonight. Which totally rocks, considering I'm the leader. Usually I feel like I need to be perfect, have it all together, and that I'm failing if I'm not the best role model ever - like I'm failing as a small group leader. But, God has graciously shown me that those are lies, and people value vulnerability, honesty and openness waaaayyyy more than when you put on a front, slap on a plastic smile and act like you got your junk together. Plus it opens the door for God to work when you're actually real with people. We all struggle, no one is perfect and under that plastic exterior, everyone has problems. Am I honest with myself, and honest with other people?

mo' money, mo' problems. awwww yeeah.

Anyway, I came across a few things today in the reading that jumped out to me. It's totally random, so bear with me.

1) Are you teachable? Seriously. Pride has a way of taking over very unobtrusively, like a ninja. Before you know it, people are asking you heart questions or the Holy Spirit is convicting you, and the immediate response is to throw a brick wall up. Or maybe more like a castle wall, then a moat . . . complete with hungry alligators.  I know in those moments my first response is no, there's nothing wrong with the way I do/see things . . . but then I start to process and see there's something deeper going on. We all have "blind spots" and we need people in our lives who can call us out - but are you receptive to this? It's a two-fold process.

2) How easy is it for me to be close-minded and think that my favorite authors, preachers, speakers, and churches are the one and only way to grow deeper with God? No, no - God is so much bigger than that. My faith has grown exponentially since I started going to the Summit, but it doesn't mean that my church is the only road to a deeper relationship with Christ. Nicaragua was a great reminder of that . . . God is working so clearly and powerfully over there, and all around the world. He is using so many different people, churches, circumstances, avenues, crazy things, etc (and he doesn't even need to use those things - the Holy Spirit can just show up) . . . God is so much bigger and amazing than my brain will ever grasp. We can't lose sight of the main message and focus on the messenger, or the creation rather than the Creator.

That's all . . . for now. :)

Just the facts, man

A few random things about Nicaragua and our trip . . .

• Plantains, beans and rice (also called gallo pinto) are staples . . . and also very delicious.
• 1 US Dollar = approx 23 Cordobas. 
• 1 Coca-Cola = 12 Cordobas . . . and it's made with real sugar, so it was ah-mazing.
• We kept track of everyone by counting off everywhere we went . . . and by the end of the week, our team could successfully count to 17 - even in Spanish. (I was numero cinco)
• Your passport is not valid until you sign it. I did not realize this until going through security Friday morning in the wee hours of 5-something-o'clock when I almost had a heart attack. Thanks TSA, I love you too.
• The random tropical fruit that you see at the lake may be calling your name, but don't do it . . . it may come back to haunt you later.
• You don't need a prescription for anti-emetics in a third world country. who knew?
• The US brand name for Dimenhydrinate is Dramamine. Who knew?
• Electric showers are interesting.
• Sharing a bathroom with 7 other women is interesting.
• A skillet is not considered a utensil.
• Although they might be foaming at the mouth, giant ants will not eat you in your sleep.
• You can buy an iguana off the side of the street.
• Anti-bacterial hand wipes may have saved my life (or at least my sanity)
• I am terrible at bartering, however my friend Janna likes to barter mostly in English - and is very talented at this :) ("mi amigo! mi amigo! por que no?")