letting go of the timeline

I also want to call this post, "debunking the timeline myth."

We all have one, don't we? Our timeline . . . how we dream, envision and plan the way our lives will play out.

Sometimes we don't acknowledge it until we get to a point in life where we realize, I'm not where I thought I would be by now.

Last weekend I came face-to-face with mine in a few different ways. I was volunteering in the nursery with two young moms and one of them started off a sentence with, "I'm 28 and . . ." 

I didn't really pay attention to what else she said, because I was caught by her age and circumstances. I kept thinking - Oh my gosh. She's 28 and has three kids, one of which is about 5 years old. I am SO behind in life . . . 

Boom. There is was. Hello, timeline. It will drive you into despair if you let it.

This is the problem with the timeline. We (or at least I do this) look at the way our lives are actually playing out versus the timeline and measure up how we're doing. We also tend to think that whether or not we are succeeding is all up to us. I tend to worry that I will "let life pass me by" (whatever that means in the moment) . . . and it will be all my fault.

There is so much wrong in these thought patterns. What about the character and faithfulness of God in the midst of this? Where is God in our "wasted moments"? I realize that I have completely lost perspective when I start to think this way.

I am forgetting that God is ultimately sovereign, meaning that He is in complete loving control . . . even when I can't see Him working. 

I was listening to my pastor this weekend and I was so preoccupied that I had a hard time letting it all sink in. I kept thinking, if I would actually believe in the sovereignty of God, I would be free. Free from thinking that how my life turns out is all up to me. Free from thinking that I will somehow "miss the boat."

I listened to a couple of sermons by Tim Keller that touched on the sovereignty of God and peace. I need to be reminded of these things so frequently!

In a sermon on Reconciliation, he says:

"Only your Father in Heaven knows exactly what you need, and only your Father in Heaven has the power to give you what you need."

"Excessive worry is when you're exactly sure of what has to happen and you're afraid God won't get it right."

"No power on earth can muck up your life . . . even you can't muck up your life, even you can't put yourself on "Plan B." Even you can't destroy God's loving plan and care for you."

In one of my favorite sermons on Peace, he says:

"Peace is confidence and trust in God's wise control of your life."

Do I trust that God will give me exactly what I need, exactly when I need? Do I trust that He is loving and in control, even if my life doesn't play out the way I thought it had to?

In her book, Better Than My Dreams, Paula Rinehart writes:

"The God who spoke the worlds into existence and keeps the stars in place is the God who knows you like no one will ever know you. He has always loved you. He will love you to the end. His purposes for you are so set in place that you can rest every minute of your journey in the cool shade of his merciful sovereignty over your life. 

We can plan all we want. We can map out our five-year goals and make a dozen to-do lists a day. But God orders our steps. He opens and closes the doors that really matter. He is really God - which is to say that he is really God. 

I think of the sovereignty of God in my own life as the quiet surrender to his authority - meaning that I acknowledge him as the Author of my story. 

. . . How am I going to allow the detours and the lost years and the mistakes to take their proper place in a life that is, somehow, being orchestrated by a God who loves me? 

Can I let myself accept that I am living a directed life even when I feel that I am floundering? 

The small miracle is that if the merciful sovereignty of God is real, then we are freed from the tyranny of having to measure every memory in terms of failure or success. It's such a relief to lay down that crazy measuring stick. 

. . . There is an old expression that comforts because it's just so true: God never wastes an experience on us. If we have given ourselves to him in any true measure, we find it all serves. All of it. 

So discovering the shade of God's sovereignty is no small matter. It literally changes the lens through which you see your life - this story God is writing that is bigger than you can even think to dream."

Tim Keller also says that, "God's silence is not absence and God's hiddenness is not impotence." 

These words are relief to my soul. If God is who He says He is, then I can rest . . . knowing that He is the Author of my story, and nothing - not even me - can mess it up.

Top O' The Morn

Good morning :) and Happy St. Patty's Day.

I am not wearing green, not baking anything green . . . so I thought I'd post a picture of my favorite salad these days (because at least that's green).

I can't stop making it. It has kale, roasted sweet potatoes, quinoa and craisins. You can find the recipe here. I also like to add sliced bosc pears for some extra awesome.

Today is off to a funny start. I had a rough time going to 5:45am cycle class last week due to the time change, but I went to my favorite class this morning and I feel OK. 

I called into a staff meeting at 7:30, but there was some technical difficulty going on. It just ended up being me and 3 other staff members chatting with one another for about 20 minutes, waiting for the problem to be fixed but it never got resolved. Oh well, what can you do. I am thankful that I like my co-workers, otherwise I wouldn't have found that entertaining :).

So here I am . . . finally writing a new post after a week (yikes!). My goal in blogging is to post 3-4 times a week, but clearly it didn't happen last week. It was just an insane, non-stop, stay at work late and then dream about work kind of week. I haven't had a week like that in a very, very long time. Here's to hoping that this week will be better.

Confession: I don't know how to slow down. Not only was the past week insane, the weekend was busy too. It was filled with good things - the gym, volunteering (but I volunteered so much that I didn't get to attend church), cooking, visiting old friends and family. 

This morning I remembered a sermon that my pastor did several weeks ago where he talked about how busyness can be a problem. We need balance, we need rest, we need time to process and hear from God and meditate on His Word. If we're too busy, we miss out on the most important thing - deepening our relationship with Him. Busyness can become dangerous.

I just need to block out some time this morning to spend with Him in quiet reflection, prayer and reading my Bible. Isn't it refreshing (and humbling) to know that we never get to a place in our lives where we don't need Him daily? The longer I walk with God, the more I am aware of how necessary that daily time is. We never get past needing His grace - and that is a comfort to me.

Here is a brief rundown of some adventures lately:

I saw this cake on a blog and I also remembered it from the Walter Mitty movie (super good, if you haven't already seen it!) . . . clementine cake. I decided to get started on the most time-consuming part of the recipe, boiling clementines for 2 hours (2 hours!). So strange, boiling citrus. I don't know when I will finish making the cake, but I suspect it's gonna be good.

I also decided to make chocolate mousse for a friend . . . for the first time from scratch. It didn't turn out so well on the first attempt. I was almost in tears after the chocolate seized up instead of melting smoothly.

Praise the Lord I had more chocolate and whipping cream on hand, so I started again - this time using a simpler recipe. It turned out really well - good thing, because I was out of chocolate at this point.

I have been wanting to read this book for a while, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It ties into what I posted last week - changing your perspective, cultivating contentment, having your eyes opened to the thousands of blessings you have even in the daily and mundane. 

However, I didn't realize that the first chapter would be suuuuper emotional because the author starts off, very descriptively, with tragedy that she's had in her life. You. Will. Need. Tissues. 

I am excited to read the book - I can tell it's going to be great. 

Happy Monday!!

the small things

source

I have been reading a book called "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby and Claude King . . . there is a workbook to go along with it (similar to a Beth Moore study) and I've slowly been going through it over the past few weeks.

The authors help you to learn what it means to really know God and have a closer relationship with Him.

One of the main points is this: God is always at work around you. Watch to see what He is doing and join Him.

So often we think that we have to go and "do" something on our own for God, instead of doing something with God and allowing Him to use you and work through you.

I have been praying that God would open my eyes to what He's doing around me. I was expecting and hoping for something huge, out of the ordinary, monumental, etc.

But this week, a friend reminded me that God is working in my small group.

It caught me off guard.

When I was looking for something crazy out in left field, I was missing what's right in front of me.

Sometimes God does show us amazing and grandiose things.

But He's right there in the small details, in the daily, "normal" things. How often do I overlook this?

I lead a small group, and God is working in the hearts and lives of these women I encounter every week.

God is working in my co-workers and friends who initiate conversations with me about Him.

God is working in the patient who is holding onto His promises each day through a chronic illness.

Where is God working around you?

I pray that God would continue to open our eyes to where He is working, and that we would be delighted in the small things.

It reminds me of this song, "Whisper" by Natalie Grant.

a book review

buy it here

Last week, I needed some reading material for my travels. A co-worker had recommended this book, and I am forever grateful that she did. It seriously took me one and a quarter days to read. Words cannot do it justice.

I had heard of Corrie Ten Boom, loved some of her quotes, but never read any of her work.

Corrie was a Dutch watchmaker, a lover of Jesus, who became part of the underground movement during WW II to help Jews escape the Nazis. She and her family were eventually sent to concentration camps as well - and she was the lone survivor.

After her release from prison, she lived on to have an amazing ministry - writing books and speaking all over the world about the transforming power of God's love.

Her story moved me greatly (joy, sadness, amazing faith, God's power and love), and I had to fight back my urge to weep openly, as I was on a plane for the majority of my reading.

This book is filled with such timeless wisdom and it pointed me back to the cross over and over. Her walk with the Lord was so deep, so rich . . . It strengthened my own faith and once again showed me the treasure and supreme beauty of Christ. I strongly recommend it.

I will now leave you with some of my favorite quotes from the book.

"I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do." 

"Our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need -- just in time." 

"The truth . . . is that God's viewpoint is sometimes different than ours - so different that we could not even guess at it unless He had given us a Book which tells us such things. In the Bible I learned that God values us not for our strength or our brains but simply because He has made us." 

"There are no 'if's' in God's kingdom. His timing is perfect. His will is our hiding place." 

“No pit is so deep that God is not deeper still”

“When He tells us to love our enemies He gives, along with the command, the love itself.” 

"My job was to simply follow His leading one step at a time, holding every decision up to him in prayer.”

“In darkness God's truth shines most clear.”