July 23, 2012

It's monday . . .

. . . and I can't stop writing. This might be a problem. I'm just gonna roll with it though, because I keep on feeling compelled to write.

Right now our small group is going through a Beth Moore study, To Live is Christ. I am delightfully behind, and trying to catch up on the reading, but I'm just not sure if I'm going to be on track by tonight. Which totally rocks, considering I'm the leader. Usually I feel like I need to be perfect, have it all together, and that I'm failing if I'm not the best role model ever - like I'm failing as a small group leader. But, God has graciously shown me that those are lies, and people value vulnerability, honesty and openness waaaayyyy more than when you put on a front, slap on a plastic smile and act like you got your junk together. Plus it opens the door for God to work when you're actually real with people. We all struggle, no one is perfect and under that plastic exterior, everyone has problems. Am I honest with myself, and honest with other people?

mo' money, mo' problems. awwww yeeah.

Anyway, I came across a few things today in the reading that jumped out to me. It's totally random, so bear with me.

1) Are you teachable? Seriously. Pride has a way of taking over very unobtrusively, like a ninja. Before you know it, people are asking you heart questions or the Holy Spirit is convicting you, and the immediate response is to throw a brick wall up. Or maybe more like a castle wall, then a moat . . . complete with hungry alligators.  I know in those moments my first response is no, there's nothing wrong with the way I do/see things . . . but then I start to process and see there's something deeper going on. We all have "blind spots" and we need people in our lives who can call us out - but are you receptive to this? It's a two-fold process.

2) How easy is it for me to be close-minded and think that my favorite authors, preachers, speakers, and churches are the one and only way to grow deeper with God? No, no - God is so much bigger than that. My faith has grown exponentially since I started going to the Summit, but it doesn't mean that my church is the only road to a deeper relationship with Christ. Nicaragua was a great reminder of that . . . God is working so clearly and powerfully over there, and all around the world. He is using so many different people, churches, circumstances, avenues, crazy things, etc (and he doesn't even need to use those things - the Holy Spirit can just show up) . . . God is so much bigger and amazing than my brain will ever grasp. We can't lose sight of the main message and focus on the messenger, or the creation rather than the Creator.

That's all . . . for now. :)


  1. i love your honesty. when i was a small group leader i was always worried about the night going "perfectly" when, in reality, the nights when we veered off topic and had our own deep discussions about life/personal struggles were the best nights. here's to not being perfect! (also, your blog makeover rocks. awww yeah).

  2. Thanks for reading, for your sweet comments, and for helping me make this thang look mucho prettier!! :)


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