July 23, 2012

nothing stays the same

If I had my way, things would never change. I hate change.

I think that's normal though. I really, honestly felt that earlier this year, things were perfect . . . and then things started to change around me - mostly friends moving away and relationships changing.

Things have been evolving since then . . . and even more so in the months surrounding the Nicaragua trip. I think I'm realizing that earlier this year, I was so comfortable and things seemed so calm . . . maybe that's why I felt that things were perfect.

But unless God uproots me from time to time, how can I ever grow? Unless He calls me out of my comfort zone and places new challenges in my life, how can I change?

I always pray that God will stretch me, grow me, and bring me closer to Him . . . but insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

When things started shifting, I tried desperately to hold onto them. Maybe if I tried hard enough, clung onto things, I could keep it all together. It's easy for me to be in denial about things changing . . .

(like baby, baby, ohhh, like baby, baby, noooooooo, I don't want to change!!)

During seasons like this, what I want to do is hold onto people and circumstances. But God calls me to something greater - to hold onto Him, the only sure foundation and solid rock. Life is going to constantly change, so I might as well accept that, right? Nothing ever stays the same . . . so why try to hold onto the temporary and fleeting things?

Change is a good thing, even though it is very painful. Through change, God draws us closer to Himself, grows us, and teaches us (oh yeah, that whole "trusting God" thing).

On another note, I am changing the way I see my finances. For the first time (maybe ever), I'm going to take it seriously . . . so chickpeas are about to become my main food group, yeeeah! I always thought I needed to spend a ton of money in order to buy healthy food so that I could, well, be healthy and look good in my jeans. But there are a few good resources out there - it's like a social experiment, this whole "budgeting" thing. Here are a few blogs that are helpful if you want to eat healthy and cheap too :)

“It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn’t call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace.”

-Francis Chan

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