And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer . . .
"Drive" - Incubus
First off, shout out to http://kateelizabethconner.com for encouragement and inspiration that is much needed!
It's funny how easily I let my fears drive me, instead of being content and resting in the peace of Christ.
After all, this is supposed to be the season for peace, is it not?
Instead, I let my distractions and busy schedule steal me away from meditating on the character of God and His promises in the Gospel. Upon waking this morning, I hit the ground running - errands, laundry, baking up to my eyeballs (I never want to see another m&m or Christmas sprinkle again), and cooking food to last me through the week . . . paired with dwelling on my fears and guilt makes for a lousy saturday afternoon.
I finally sat down from mental exhaustion and my aching back - and, as inspired by Kate's post this past wednesday, started to write out what specific stresses and fears have been plaguing me lately.
As I find it true every time I stop to face whatever is ailing me, my problems all stem from (surprise surprise) unbelief . . . unbelief that God is who He says He is, that I am secure in His grasp, that He has given me every reason not to fear, that His Gospel is true.
It should come to no surprise that the first thing Satan said to Eve in the garden was conducive to this very unbelief - "Did God really say, 'You must not eat . . ." [Genesis 3:1]
I hear echoes of that conversation in my own life . . .
-Did God really say that He would provide for you?
-Did God really say not to fear, that He is with you and goes before you?
-Did God really say that you have been forgiven and reconciled?
-Did God really say that He works all things together for the good?
-Did God really say that He loves you?
-Did God really say that He is completely sovereign?
How can I battle this unbelief? It's simpler than I sometimes realize . . . by taking a moment to pause in His presence and lay my fears and failures at His feet. To take time to dwell in His word and trust that He is who He says He is. To rest in the Gospel and allow the peace of God to permeate my soul.
Lately, I've been freaking out about circumstances and the uncertainty of the future . . . and that I've sealed my fate because of my shortcomings.
But God reminds me . . . if He gave me what I needed most when I was dead in my sin - Himself, how can I fear that He would withhold anything from me? How can I doubt His character, His goodness, His sovereignty, His love?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
-Romans 8:32
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:33-34
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
-Matthew 7:7-11
But above all, resting in the Gospel . . . in the peace that comes from being brought into relationship with God - and realizing that He has already given me what I need the most.
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