January 22, 2011

I don't care

Sometimes . . . I just need to be human.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I mean . . . all I want is to be the perfect Christ follower, to volunteer and be on mission 100% of the time, be the perfect employee, the perfect friend, perfect daughter, perfect sister, perfect roommate, always be happy, eat healthy 100% of the time and have a sculpted body with 0% body fat (and never desire unhealthy food). Oh and to always look cute.

Then I have these groundbreaking moments where I realize that I've put all of this pressure on myself with silly, unrealistic expectations that I will be this amazing robot/angel woman or something.

You mean it's OK to get angry sometimes? You mean it's OK to be disappointed with life? You mean it's OK to make mistakes? It's OK if I get frustrated with people? It's OK to eat something other than spinach every meal of the day?

whaaaaaaaat . . .

Thankfully, even when I am frustrated at life and/or myself, when all I want is to run until I can't breathe, when I just want to throw things and scream, there is someone who calls me adopted - someone who wants to calm my frayed nerves with His presence.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 8:37-39

This passage is one of my all-time favorites, one that I come back to often.

Today, be mindful of this. That nothing can separate us from His love.

When I hate myself, when I am sick and tired of it all . . . while I expect myself to be absolutely flawless, He never does. He called me to Himself when I was dead, when I had no idea who He was. He called me to Himself before there was any heart change in me. After all, He came to seek and save the lost - not shiny diamond robot girls.
(Ephesians 2, Luke 19:9-10, Matthew 9:12)

His love is like a balm to my splintered spirit - He alone can revive this exasperated soul.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
-Romans 5:6-8

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30

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