August 28, 2011

what the what

I'm just gonna throw it out there . . . I think that Christians are terrible at dating.

Ok, ok . . . maybe it's just me, maybe not all Christians are bad at dating . . . but I sure feel like the Bible is clear about certain topics (morality, marriage, child raising, salvation . . .) but we're left in the dark when it comes to dating.

Maybe it's because I'm looking for a list of rules or a certain protocol to follow (going back to my legalistic/type A sinful tendencies, whoops) and it's just not there.

Also, we (or, again, maybe just me) gravitate towards taking it a little too seriously. There's truly nothing wrong with getting to know someone through dating. Just because we hang out doesn't mean that there are wedding bells in the future. For the longest time, I've waited for the perfect person to drop in front of my face before I would even consider the idea of dating. Part of my problem is that I don't want to take a risk . . . I want to know that a potential relationship will be safe, or will definitely lead to something before I even will get to know the guy. It sounds crazy, right?

It goes back to trusting God . . . trusting that He is going to lead me where I need to be, even if the road is more winding, broken and rockier than I'd prefer. I want everything to be spelled out before I even begin the journey. I want a safe, predictable, easy path. Well, life doesn't work that way . . . and it's actually better that it doesn't. How boring is predictability? How would I ever learn anything if I didn't have to rely on God or take a step out in faith? Without struggle, how can we truly grow?

Sometimes I wish that I could wake up and magically be more patient or at peace with my circumstances. But these things take time . . . you don't learn a life lesson overnight, or even in a week (most of the time).

If I believe that the Gospel is true, and that God is who He says He is . . . then I know His character. I know that He is all I need for everlasting joy. Regardless of my circumstances. I know that He loves me regardless of what I've done or what I will do in the future . . . and that He has a loving control over my life, where He is working all things (even my sins, mistakes, and all the bad things) together for good. That means that He'll provide for my every need. He disciplines me to teach me patience, how to trust, how to deeply depend on Him every day. . .

But how does dating fit into this? I just feel like dating is so silly, and that it's unimportant. It's not like I'm dealing with a huge problem, a terminal illness, injustice, etc.

Sometimes I feel like God cares about the big issues, but silly little things like this, I'm left to figure out on my own.

But that doesn't make any sense, does it? Scripture says that He is our Father and that He loves us more than our earthly fathers can, and that He'll give us everything we need to have life to the full. So, that must mean that He loves us holistically and cares about every area of our lives . . .

To think that God doesn't care about this would take away from His character and His love.

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around this.

Again, life lessons take time to process . . . and I can tell that I'm going to wrestle with this one for a bit.

1 comment:

  1. It's funny how such a "small" thing can cause such consternation in peoples' lives. Because it's really not about the dating, but what that means, how it'll (hopefully) culminate. This is something I've been wrestling with for a long time, too. There are some great resources out there - has a good relationships section; a Scottish preacher out of Cleveland by the name of Alistair Begg has a great message he delivered to his church's Young Singles ministry this past Valentine's Day, and JD preached through a series on relationships a few years ago (and several).

    You're not alone in this struggle! Best thing I've discovered (and continue to rediscover) is when you stop laboring in a direction heretofore proving fruitless and/or frustrating, God then will blow your mind. :)


Blog Design by Caked Designs