Hide And Seek

I don't know how to transition into this subject, so I'm just going to catapult into it.

I hate how our society and culture is so overly saturated with sex.

Our media worships sex and the god of beauty.

Every time I'm at the gym, my eyes naturally gravitate towards the 10+ TV screens suspended from the ceiling. MTV, lifetime, daytime soaps are always on - and it's always sex. I either try to divert my gaze, or just run in front of the sports channels instead.

One day I walked into the break room at work, and "vanilla sky" was on - and of course, I had to walk in during the sex scene between Tom Cruise & Cameron Diaz. One of my coworkers was talking to me, and I attempted to turn my back to the TV, but it was still in my peripheral vision. Normally I would've turned it off, but I guess I thought it would be too awkward to interrupt her to walk over and turn it off.

Turn on G105 (or any popular radio station) and lady gaga or britney come on - "poker face" and "3" . . . I need not say any more.

And it's not just that the media is showing people making out or hinting at the idea of sex. The lyrics in these songs and that scene in vanilla sky are pretty graphic. They reveal too much to me. Shows on MTV (and other reality shows) have girls jumping all over these guys . . . and practically having sex with their clothes on.

I recently saw commercial for dolce & gabbana watches on TV - and it was pretty much the epitome of britney's song, if you catch my drift. Once again, a little too graphic.

The songs by britney and lady gaga aren't portraying monogamous, heterosexual relations, either. So . . . not only is it too graphic, but it's also skewed and disfigured.

I feel like I've been over-exposed to sex, and it's not been intentional. I feel like I already know way too much, seen too much. I feel like porn is all over the radio and TV.

I liked it better when sex was something . . . mysterious and beautiful. When it actually had significance. When people valued it.

And you wonder why girls think that it's no big deal anymore. That it's ordinary. That they are ordinary. That it's something they want to give up, asap. That so many people are just throwing it everywhere.

I liked it better when I knew enough to look forward to it one day, to discover and enjoy with my husband.

Now I just feel like I've been over-exposed and it's left a bad taste in my mouth.

It makes me not want to have sex. Just so I won't have to deal with it. Because honestly, it looks ugly, sloppy and animalistic - at least the way it's being portrayed. Like it's not even worth it.

I'm still trying to believe that God created it with purpose, beauty and meaning. I want there to be mystery. I don't want to know everything. But I'm having a really hard time doing that.

It's like taking a perfect rose, throwing it in the middle of a landfill, dousing the landfill with the contents of a septic tank, stirring it up, then steam rolling it, put a little flame-thrower action in there . . . and then fishing out the rose and offering it to me. Do you think I want that? No thanks.