August 31, 2010

marriage sermons

I would like to preface by saying that I think marriage sermons are great. They remind us of what Biblical marriage looks like, and helps us hold a high standard for this beautiful and sacred institution.

But I must say, that sometimes it feels like my singleness is being rubbed in my face.

Our pastor has been going through the 10 commandments, and this past week J.D. preached on the command, "thou shalt not commit adultery." A majority of the sermon was focused on sex and marriage, as one would predict.

Naturally, he pointed out how earthly marriage is given to us an analogy or a picture of God's relationship to us . . . and how the intimacy found in sex is a picture of the intimacy we have with God.

But it did catch me a little off-guard when he said that, (within the confines of marriage) sex is an echo of God's love and a taste of the divine.

My immediate thought was - awesome! Here I am, single and in the world . . . and what if I never get married? Well, I'll never experience that picture of God's love, I'll never be in that exclusive, married-people-only, inner circle of understanding the Gospel. And I'm totally missing out.

It makes me feel that my relationship with God is hindered because of my singleness.

But then again, Paul did say that it is good to be single - it allows us to be single-minded toward the Lord and to focus solely on our relationship with Him, versus being in a relationship and having our time and devotion divided between God and a husband.

So who knows. I don't think that it was anyone's intention for us single people to feel on the outside looking in, discouraged, or that we're missing out of a deeper relationship with God when these sermons are preached. And yet, I am left feeling that way sometimes.

I guess it's a good thing to be more concerned with the status of my relationship with God because of my relationship status, than to be primarily concerned with my relationship status. (if that makes your head spin, just read it again . . . or email me to ask what I meant - I promise I'm not trying to be confusing.)

I guess what I was trying to say is that my concern is . . . does my relationship with God depend on my relationship status? If I get married, will it allow me to gain a deeper walk with Him, whereas being single will inhibit that?

Also, I have the tendency to believe that relationships just aren't for girls like me.

That relationships are for those girls who really stand out. For those girls who are a size 0. Those girls that draw all the men like a magnet. Those girls who are really good at flirting. Those girls who look cute 24/7. Let's face it - there are waaayyy more Christian girls than there are guys, so you must have to be one of those girls - you gotta make the cut. I guess I just don't stand a chance.

I could ask these questions all day. But more importantly is for now, to rest in Him. To look to Him with my questions, my doubts, my cynicism, my frustrations. To allow Him to heal these things. Because He's the only one who can handle all of it. He's the only one who can have that complete intimacy - to know me completely and love me anyway . . . the way no human can. Also, to trust that He is in control of my circumstances (including my singleness) . . . so there's gotta be a purpose to this, yes?

1 comment:

  1. i'm glad we got to talk about this. i think that girl's answer was right on...and encouraging. sorry for the late comment. i'm so in and out of blog lately. right now i'm under the weather and on the couch...and it's blog time! (reading, not writing.) i do love your blog!


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