October 4, 2011

morning view

I am a morning person, undoubtedly.

It's not just because my body automatically wakes up at 7am on my days off, even when I haven't gone to bed until 1 or 2.

It's not just because sometimes when I'm falling asleep at night, I'm already excited about what I'm going to eat for breakfast and the thought of that first cup of coffee.

The thing about mornings is . . . it's just so peaceful and untouched. When the sun first comes up, while most of the world (or at least my neighborhood) is still asleep. It's still, it's calm, there's a cool breeze in the air. Before the day gets started and things get kicked into gear . . . it's just a moment to take a deep breath, to start fresh.

I have a choice each morning . . . what or who will I trust in to get through this day? Will I lean into the Gospel more and learn to rely more fully on God? Will I trust in my own abilities, understanding, resources, or the things that I can see? Will I allow my frustrations, insecurities and fears to take the wheel? Will I allow my circumstances to dictate my attitude and my tone for the day?

I hate waking up in a bad mood, and that definitely happened this morning. I think it was a combination of lack of adequate sleep, not being able to turn my brain off, circumstances, etc that did it.

It's definitely not how I want to start the day. I want to listen to Paul when he says:

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
-Phil 4:5-7

To rejoice in the Lord, in the Gospel, in reconciliation. Not that I'm going to ignore my frustrations/problems or try to brush them under the rug, but that I choose to find joy and validity in God - rather than finding those things from other people, relationships, my job, money, or other circumstances. That I won't allow those struggles to define me or take over, but that I'll surrender them to God and trust that no matter how things turn out, He is at work and He is good. Even when things seem chaotic and I just can't make sense of a situation. This is not easy, but I think it's what we're called to do.

And I might have to clarify the difference between joy/rejoicing and happiness. Happiness is more of a superficial high and is a result of when things are going the way I want them to. Joy is deeper . . . joy can resonate within me as a result of knowing the Gospel and my status with God, even when I am unhappy, when my circumstances are not what I want them to be, even when I'm wrestling through something with God.

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