May 30, 2010

hello fascination

disclaimer: this post is totally unrelated.

But on a serious note, God has been really teaching me (and I've been re-learning) of His unfathomable faithfulness and love. Just the fact that I've been struggling to know the Truth is confirmation that His promises are true, that I really am His child, that I have been called according to His purpose . . . and that He makes covenants with messy, broken sinners like me. (Galatians 3:26-29, Colossians 1:14, 2 Corinthians 5:21, John 10:14-16,27-29, Ephesians 2:12-13, Ephesians 3:17-19, Acts 17:27, Romans 5:1-10, Romans 8:15-16, 28-29)

Now with the unrelated content . . . I've been inspired by Julie & Christen to just write out some recent thoughts that are floating in my head.

I just bought this CD:

it was a compulsive buy at Target, and I must say that I don't regret it. I will say that the original songs are of course better, but I'm impressed with these covers. It also has me listening to some newer punk-pop, post-hardcore/screamo, alternative bands. Which reminds me of 4 years ago when I went to a ton of shows . . . including my AFI tour . . . yes, I saw them 5 different times in 4 separate states in 2006. And got a tattoo.

So listening to this music makes me feel young. And makes me start to want another tattoo.

I'm about to be 25 . . . and I almost feel old. Is it weird that I like to listen to music that makes me want to jump off of things? That I think about getting another tattoo? That I want to go to shows? That I want to wear my chucks and cutoff jean shorts? I feel like these things are inappropriate for my age, but it might just be in
my head.

I want to be young. bah.

Back to classic rock . . . I do love it. It reminds me of my dad and my childhood, because I heard it a lot growing up. So I associate Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Journey, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones (OK maybe they're not technically classic rock), ZZ Top, etc. with family and home and the olden days.

I associate AC/DC, Def Leppard and Van Halen with Wilmington and going out downtown . . . and some of my favorite people that I hung out with in college. I also confess that I love the smell of smoke (cigarette smoke, that is) for a few seconds. It just reminds me of those times too.

Listening to alternative rock, pop-punk and post-hardcore/screamo takes me back to hanging out with one of my best friends from Wilmington (Amy), going to shows, summertime and going to Warped Tour. I miss those days.

I love summer . . . so much. I love laying out at the pool, beach trips, grilling out, wearing tank tops and skirts . . . driving around with the windows down, blaring
Sublime and 311.

Sometimes I feel like I have ocean water in my veins. I went to Wilmington last week on a whim, and it was amazing. I needed to break away, and it was perfect timing. I wish that I lived at the beach, and I miss the feel of living in a coastal town/city.

Sometimes I feel like everything is so random. Why do I live here? I love my church, my friends, my roommate, this city, my job, the clinic that I just started volunteering at, etc . . . but I feel like those things could be acquired anywhere. If there's no purpose or reason for me to be here, why am I here? If I could find good friends, a good job and a Gospel-centered church anywhere, then why am I here? Maybe if I'm not married in 2 years I should just say screw it and move to a coastal city.

But if I knew there was purpose, it would give living here more meaning and I'd find a reason to stay.

1 comment:

  1. randomness. :) you are young at heart and i think you should embrace it! i mean, you're also young physically, so that really isn't something you should worry about anyway. i think you're mature in the ways that matter...stuff like music will keep you young and fun yeah. embrace!!


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