oh, you know

What would it be like to pray boldly, with expectation?

To have audacious requests before God?

I find myself praying half-heartedly . . . at least for the things that I think are silly, dumb, or too small to really matter. I feel selfish asking God for provision, so I push it aside and try to bury whatever desire or felt need I have.

But what does that say about my belief in God - what do I believe about His ability and willingness to provide for me? Do I believe that He is a loving Father who will take care of me?

I am doubting God's character when I try to bury certain things, rather than lay them at His feet because I think they're silly or insignificant. If He is my Father, He cares about every area of my life - even the areas that I want to ignore.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:28-33

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Matthew 7:9-11

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

I am so quick to predict the outcome of whatever circumstance I'm in . . . so quick to predict my own future (wherein I am single until the age of 80 when I finally die, in my house full of no less than 50 cats), so quick to doubt what God can do . . . and what do I base those thoughts on? My own human understanding, skepticism, and what I can see in the moment.

When I pray and doubt, I'm not really trusting God. I'm actually taking Him out of the equation and not believing that He will work in the situation. And this could be anything . . . whether it's provision over personal needs/desires, praying for a friend, to see someone come to salvation, to see a great work in our city, to see change in anything, really.

I want to believe great things from God, not live in a state of underestimating what He will do.

God says to trust Him . . . and to not lean on that human understanding that I have!

So . . . will I choose to doubt, to hide my requests, to limit God based on my own human limitations?

Or will I choose to believe that He will deliver, that He is the God who can (and wants to) do immeasurably more than we can ask for or imagine? He is the creator God, after all, and scripture says that nothing is impossible with Him. He is the author of EVERYTHING . . . He created galaxies and brought everything into existence, He knew us before we were born, He is the author and perfecter of our faith - how can I question what He can and will do?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine . . .
Ephesians 3:20