I've dug up miles and miles of sand
Searching for something I can't see
And I've just got bruised and battered hands
And a brand new void inside of me
Complete with walls I did create
From all the earth that I've displaced
A mess that I have made from what
I've just let pile and pile up

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything, everything I need

Explore the cave that is my chest
The torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back"

"I Need You" - Relient K

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All I need to know is that God isn't going to abandon me.

All I need to know is that I belong to Him, and He won't let me go . . . that I'll never be able to escape His love or grasp. To know that He really is sovereign, and that the dumb, seemingly pointless things in life really do have a purpose.

It's funny how easily my mind scrambles the truth. How quickly I believe the lies.

How difficult it is to stop striving. How difficult it is just to rest and believe.

This whole thing is aggravating yet comforting in a way. My restlessness to know the truth, to know more of God is a confirmation that He's drawing me nearer to Him, and that I do really belong to Him.

Why else would I be searching? If God was not actively working in me and stirring me to know Him more and to grow in my faith, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be going through this.